The Story of Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas Part 1

Sally Chickens is a real person. She is about the craziest lady you will ever meet. She wears big glasses, long flowing dresses, gym shoes, tons of perfume, and LOVES to hang out with Flo Bananas. They are a great team. You could find them shopping and grabbing a quick bite to eat at Perkins. They live together in an apartment downtown and love it.

Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas met eighty years ago in parochial school. No one would sit with Sally Chickens. That was until she got to the seat where Flo Bananas was sitting. They hit it off immediately. The dynamic duo spent everyday sipping mocha lattes, rocking the etch-a-sketch, smoking the occasional joint, playing jovial pranks on the evil janitor, and enjoying summers at the lake. That was, until the accident.

As Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas became better friends, their families also became close and they would take trips together in their Winnebago. Well one day their parents were going skiing and they crashed the Winnebago and died. Sally and Flo were sad, but they stuck together and started working. Life was hard, but it was good.

Flo thought they should sell all their parents stuff, so they got a credit card and made an account online. They quickly made a disgusting profit and sold most of their parent's illegal things overseas. It was the best of times, it was the best of times. Then, they got a DOG!

Jack Pickles was the first poodle they bought. They bought it from a bum who thought it was a cloud and wanted some rain. The poodle was about the coolest you could find. He loved to go and live with Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas. Once Jack Pickles got to their house, he asked them to move downtown cause he hated the country and loved the city. Sally and Flo said yes. So they sold their parents land and moved to the big city and got a high rise apartment near the waterfront. It was amazing! Everyone had such a great time and they would stay up late every night eating marshmallows and smoking the occasional joint. Life just got better and better. Then, they got news that Princess Diana had died. They cried all day and all night and the next day too. Then Jack Pickles said, "Hey, it's gonna be alright." So then they were fine. Do you know what these two crazy ladies did then? Then smoked the occasional joint, and went shopping! They grabbed their shoes and went to the big mall. They spent close to eighty thousand dollars that day! Looks like Ramen noodles for a few weeks!

Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas were best friends ever. They do everything together like sledding, making mud pies, typing term papers at the last minute, and feeding Jack Pickles all the good dog food. Life was going great until Sally started wanting another dog. This made Jack Pickles quite jealous so he packed his things in a bandanna, put a stick through it like a hobo, and left in the middle of the night singing show tunes, mainly the sad ones. Sally and Flo were both tired as ever from shopping, so they were sleeping and didn't hear poor Jack Pickles leave. He didn't want to leave but Sally was out of her god damn mind! Another dog? Jack thought he was the only dog they needed so he left.

When Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas woke up, they immediately knew something was wrong. They walked around the corner and Jack was gone! Son of a bitch! They started to cry and Flo said, "I told you so," and Sally said, "I'm sorry." Sally knew she messed up. Flo said, "Lets go get Jack back."

Meanwhile, Jack had knifed a postal clerk and scrapped enough change together to get a bus ticket. He said, "Get me to France." So then he went to France. Meanwhile, Sally and Flo got out their metal detectors and got on the trail. Jack had a metal hip from a while back when he got in a poodle accident. It was special metal for dogs so they could track it much like a homing device. Sure enough, they turned it out and it said, "Jack. Is. In. In. France. Jack Pickles. France." "Oh my oh goodness he's in France!" said Flo, and Sally said, "I know. I heard it too," to which Flo replied, "We are so crazy!" which was totally true. They went and got out their passports, inflated their zeppelin, smoked the occasional joint, and flew to France.

This was a whole new experience for the crazy ladies. France is, in fact, not in America, so they were a little weirded out until Flo said, "Hey lets get some ice cream and shoes!" "Okay," said Sally. So they did that. Then they remembered about Jack. In the meantime, Jack Pickles had gotten a job at a restaurant cooking the French soup. You wouldn't believe it but he was really good at it. Best soup in France. Sally was walking and singing opera and heard some French political activist talking about this soup he had by the famous J. Pickles, and she knew it was Jack Pickles cause it was so obvious. So Flo flagged down a scooter and they made their way to the restaurant. They ran in the kitchen crying and said, "Come home Jack Pickles we miss you we love you!" Jack said, "Only on one condition: don't get another dog." They both screamed, "PLEASE COME HOME WE'RE SORRY! WE'LL JUST HAVE YOU!" So then Jack Pickles agreed and told the manager to hire somebody else cause he had to go home with the crazy Sally Chickens and Flo Bananas! The manager was totally cool cause he took one at Sally and Flo and knew Jack had a good thing going. Then they flew home.

Sally and Flo are about the craziest ladies you'll ever meet. They never stop having fun, cause they are just fun people. Everybody wants to come to their holiday parties, but their loft can't hold the whole town. So what did they do? You'll find out soon!