If It Were My Choice

Tonight I noticed something that most people haven't. The dual nature of certain tv entities. My example- The Enzyte Guy. We've all seen him. Never sad. Never unhappy. The only expression to grace his face is a smile. Pure. I have made up my mind. If I ever had depression, I want the Enzyte Guy as my therapist. Just think about it.

My Spice Limit

So tonight after a dismal show, Paige, her mom, and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings. I thought to myself, "Let's take a chance. Test your tongue" Wow I'm dumb. BWW's (for those in the know), has about 15 different sauces ranging from sweet bbq to blazin'. I didn't think I'd try for blazin'. They have a 'Wall of Fame' for those select few who can eat 12 blazin' wings in 10 minutes, and needless to say there aren't many pictures on the wall. There is, however, one crazy bastard who did the challenge. Three times in a row in one night. So, I thought I'd try mango habenaro. This one is the 3rd hottest. Not smart. My nose was instantly cleared and dripping. My brow began to bead up and I had to use my napkin to remove sweat. I couldn't feel my tonuge. It felt like a ritual bonfire that had to be kept buring through the night was taking place on my sensitive tongue. I ordered other kinds of wings, and I used the medium ones to cool down the mango habenaro ones. Usually medium is fine for me, and here I am using it as a coolant. Now back at home, I feel sick. I think my stomach hates me.

Weekly CoCa Update

Here is a link to this week's new message from the band. This one is creepy and gave me chills.

http://www.ugo.com/the-willing-well/

Percents

Yeah we are doing awesome now, going on, I think, 5 for 5 on Mondays. OF COURSE, it is raining, and OF COURSE, I have softball. I'm loving this.

Rex Grossman

1) Always has grass stains on the back of his jersey from getting sacked.

2) Throws interceptions

3) Usually hears from his coaches, "We're only down by 1. Let's just take a knee. We don't want Grossman to lose it for us worse than we would have normally. I mean, this guy is pathetic. He might hang around the league for 10 years, but he will only be mediocre at best. What did you say? No I hate Green Mill. Let's go to Red Lobster. Yeah. The one by the mall. Okay. Don't tell Grossman cause we don't want him to come. He never picks up the check. Okay see you there.

4) Probably wets the bed during afternoon naps

Torment For The Waiting

Okay some lucky dude got a copy of No World For Tomorrow, and here is his take on it. I could barely read it and not crap in my chair. This just makes the wait seem like forever.

NWFT First Impressions
So Claudio basically walked into the studio with all those stirring emotions he's mentioned in the interviews and let it wail. This is the hardest rocking, loudest, and most instrumentally intense Coheed record yet, and I think even darker than Good Apollo 1. No, they have not reverted back to Second Stage or In Keeping Secrets, but they have also not made a carbon copy of Apollo 1 with a different story. Though the tracking of the record is quite similar, this album will knock you on your ass with ten times the force of GA1.

Whereas you could hear the band trying to emulate specific influences on GA1 (a.k.a. Once Upon Your Dead Body) on GA2 it's pure rock n roll. There's roughly four songs which gave me GA1 vibes, but the rest is a whole new beast. Solos are back and sharper and the riffage is on fire, seriously I feel like it's burning a hole in my CD player, this record is hot, flaming fire. Upon hearing the record, the cover artwork works perfectly, because you really feel the weight of that shirtless character heading towards a world being torn to pieces - both his outer layer of revenge, anger, and blood lust as well as his inner emotional conscience get a voice here.

Claudio, as usual, gives a stellar vocal performance - sounding a little higher than GA1 but equally character driven in his vocal stylings. Please do not overthink "The Running Free" it's one of only two songs that I would even begin to think of the word "pop" (there really is very little pop this time). It sounds so much better in context and it's an awesome awesome song in my opinion. Please also stop listening to Mother Superior acoustic right now. (This is really hard to do). Like everything else on this record, it is not a cute acoustic song you can put in your pocket, it is LARGE and a different animal, but vocally note for note like the acoustic version.

The End Complete is just about as insane as you've imagined it, and because the first half of the record is a rockfest, it doesn't feel like a total 180 likethe Willing Wells. The records ends with dignity and of course it's a super epic. !! POSSIBLE SPOILERS !!- Read below if you want tiny hints. All in all it's a pretty perfect and justified end to the saga - a full progression of a band's sound. Coheed and Cambria were the saviors of rock and roll but now..... they fucking ARE rock and roll.

Track Notes:
1) 1:14 Reaping: is not an instrumental but an intro and a good one

2) 5:06 No World For Tomorrow: is an absolute rockfest, kicks so much ass. It's the Welcome Home or the IKS of the record. No musical flashback, but a moment or two for the fans here.

3) 4:38 The Hound: Some different orchestration, an awesome chorus, and a killer killer solo

4) 4:55 Feathers: has some "pop" to it, but in a classic way. Think "Our Love" by The Outfield, sweet sounding light as a feather. Claudio's voice is gorgeous, as is the slower paced bluesy solo. A vaguely Junesong sounding vocal melody in the bridge.

5) 4:13 The Running Free

6) 6:38 Mother Superior: expanded instrumentally. Strings and full band. But Claud still sings like a crooning angel. Much respect for this change - all acoustic would have killed the record's pace.

7) 4:21 Gravemakers and Gunslingers: well what did you expect? This song spits in your face, gives you a wedgy, and slams you into your locker. So bad-ass. Hard Adrenalin rush bridge, out of this world solo.

8) 4:28 Justice in Murder: Great sing-along chorus. Like Mother May I on GA1, you feel the imminence of something big and bad on the horizon.

The End Complete

9)1:04 The Fall of House Atlantic: Surprise, it's just an intro. Almost 3-like in apocalyptic style.

10) 4:54 Radio Bye Bye: Somewhat straight forward, very GA1 sounding.

11) 7:44 The End Complete: The chorus is a pretty new sound for Coheed, but appropriately large-scale. Almost 8 minutes. At 2:47 there is something all you Cobalt and Calciums will be thrilled to hear. It was missing on GA1. The song gets wild in a Willing Well/2113 way.

12) 3:35 The Road And the Damned: Also a new sound to it. Extremely heart rending, it should stir every bone in your body. Very moving in an epic way.

13) 7:09 On The Brink: Begins totally soulful almost 2113 esque. Vocally extraordinary. 7 minutes. It progresses epically from here, with an unexpected but crazy good ending. It's not a 20 minute medley of every Coheed song, nor is it just silence, but it is something you'll be happy to hear, and definitely a fitting closer.

There's A Day For That?

So according to legend, 2 American dudes set up a festival occuring on Sept, 19th. TLAPD. O, you didn't know? That stand for Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yeah. Read that again. I guess that people need to show their 'pirattitude' today. So, in honor of swashbuckling, I give you- The Pirate Convention!

GREAT NEWS!

So earlier today I was checking "my sites" for various news information, and one of them is about Harry Potter. This one was amazing. There was a headline about casting for movie six The Half Blood Prince. I had made an early prediction about how I thought the perfect choice for the character Horace Slughorn would be Jim Broadbent. Turns out, I was right! This is AMAZING news! If you haven't heard of him, you should have. His resume includes Art School Confidential, Longford, and last but not least- Moulin Rouge, which he stole the show. I can't wait to see this movie now.

Weather and Such

So for about the past month, every time I purposely schedule something that involves some kind of sport (fast-pitch softball, golf, tennis) it rains. I'm kinda getting sick of it. I really wish that a Monday night could be rain-free, just once. Even for an hour and a half. That's all it really takes to finish our games.

On a second note- O.J. Simpson. Can you honestly think this bastard is not guilty? Again? This time he is held without bail. This may be a second place throphy for those who wished to see him behind bars for murder in the most ridiculous trial ever. He actually did it. Both times. Maybe he'll fox his way out of this one too.

Weekly Complaints

I haven't actually written anything real in a while and I apologize. I've just been busy. In my little vacation, I have had plenty of time to think about things to bitch about. Here we go.

1. Eli Manning

Maybe I just can't get over the fact that this guy always looks like a big pussy. He seems like a breath away from crying and throwing a fit, which of the two, the latter he actually does on a regular basis. Maybe I have all this pent up agression from when he was acutally signed a couple years ago and had a tantrum until a better team picked him. I think they should bury his ass in the Meadowlands. Now let't talk fantasy football. This guy got hurt (tear, tear) last week and now he is going to start today. This is one reason I quit doing fantasy football online, because pussies like this can screw up your weekend. I only choose to do pro-football winners pick, where you pick the winners. It seems a little more realistic to me.

2. Dirt Merchants (aka Crop Seed Salesmen)

These cock-suckers are the worst at work. A- they are usually messy and leave seeds, dirt, wheat, and spitters everywhere. B- Most can't work a projector/laptop and you have to waste time "fixing the problem" C- They can't read diagrams and usually set their stuff up in the wrong spot. I have spent most of my morning at work trying to finish my stuff and stay out of their way in order to get done and get the hell out of here. Has it worked? No! Now King Dirt Merchant wants me to sit in on his hour long talk and run his laptop- (press 1 button to start a slideshow) which he obviously can't do and won't pay extra for my time. Some mornings you wish the alarm "wouldn't go off."

3. Barry Bonds

So as of Saturday night, the record-breaking 756th home run ball fetched $752,467 at an auction. A ball! We are talking about red tine and leather and stuffing. Almost the same thing you could buy at Walmart for 2-3 bucks. This, to me, is complete bullshit. Had I caught the ball, I would have somehow contacted Bonds and told him that I would give the ball back to him if he would buy me a new scooter, a golf cart, and a lobster dinner. Maybe cost him $5000 at the very most. This way, he could give his record ball to his steroid using son some day. The best part about all of this? The guy that sold the ball couldn't afford to keep the ball because it added so much to his estate that he couldn't afford to pay the taxes on it! That's funny. He saw a ton of money. I saw a scooter, golf cart, and a lobster dinner.

Sad News Good News

This week Luciano Pavarotti passed away at 71. He has been fighting cancer of the pancreas for some time. If you heard an opera song, you have probably heard him sing. He was thee face and voice of opera with his charcoal facial hair and beautiful tenor voice.






Dancing Days are here again, because the three surviving members of Led Zeppelin are finally getting back together! Incredibly, according to NME.com, frontman Robert Plant is in talks this week with fellow Led Zep legends Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones about a one-off Zeppelin gig that'll hopefully take place in London this November. Presumably late drummer John Bonham's son, Jason Bonham, will fill in behind the drumkit for the Zep trek. I wish I could go to London to see this.

Titles and Dates

The tracklisting for No World For Tomorrow has just been made available. It's suitably strange, in that Coheed and Cambria way.


The tracklisting is:

1. The Reaping
2. No World for Tomorrow
3. The Hound of Blood and Rank
4. Feathers
5. The Running Free
6. Mother Superior
7. Gravemakers & Gunslingers
8. Justice in Murder

The End Complete:
9. I -The Fall of House Atlantic
10. II - Radio Bye Bye
11. III - The End Complete
12. IV - The Road and the Damned
13. V - On the Brink



Coheed and Cambria will embark on an extensive North American fall headline tour beginning Monday, October 29 in Toronto and winding up at Philadelphia's Electric Factory on Wednesday, November 28.

Support acts on the tour include rock veteran’s Clutch and The Fall of Troy. The Coheed and Cambria tour is in celebration of the release of the band's new Columbia Records album, "No World For Tomorrow," on Tuesday, October 23. "No World For Tomorrow" marks the apex and final chapter of "The Amory Wars," the conceptual, apocalyptic storyline which runs through the band's previous albums -- "The Second Stage Turbine Blade" (2002), "In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3" (2003), and "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness" (2005) – and chronicles the the trials and tribulations of main characters Coheed and Cambria Kilgannon and their children as they fight to save civilization.
Tour dates are as follows:
10/19 - New York, NY, CMJ – Highline Ballroom
10/29 - Toronto, ON, Kool Haus
10/30 - Cleveland, OH, House of Blues
10/31 - Cleveland, OH, House of Blues
11/01 - Detroit, MI, State Theatre
11/02 - Chicago, IL, The Riviera- Probably going to skip a wedding for this one!
11/06 - Denver, CO, The Fillmore
11/07 - Salt Lake City, UT, Salt Air
11/09 - San Francisco, CA, Warfield
11/10 - San Diego, CA, SOMA
11/11 - Los Angeles, CA, Wiltern LG
11/13 - Phoenix, AZ, Marquee Theatre
11/15 - Dallas, TX, House of Blues
11/16 - Houston, TX, Wharehouse Live
11/17 - Austin, TX, Waterloo Park
11/19 - Orlando, FL, House of Blues
11/20 - Atlanta, GA, Tabernacle
11/21 - Myrtle Beach, SC, House of Blues
11/23 - Winston-Salem, NC, Millennium Center
11/24 - Norfolk, VA, NorVa
11/25 - Washington, DC, 9:30 Club
11/26 - Worcester, MA, Palladium
11/28 - Philadelphia, PA, Electric Factory

Amazing Hack

Not sure how this was done, but you can bet your ass I'm going to figure out how.
Behold a Coheed and Cambria song for Guitar Hero 2